Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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