theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
