There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
