I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
