Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
