Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
