Kiss
Puke
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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