she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
