I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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