she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
