We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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