dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
