Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
