I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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