She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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