We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
