Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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