i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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