Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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