i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
