Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
