You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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