I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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