Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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