have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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