anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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