the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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