Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
