I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize