I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
