Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
As shirtless as possible
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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