i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
