they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
