Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
