Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
