he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
