I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
