Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she pinky promised me she was 18
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
