Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize