maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
True strength comes from lack of pants
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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