i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
