Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
