Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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