he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
