Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
