A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
3 2 1 whiskey
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
