I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm at about main and main street
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
