well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk is a universal language darling
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
