That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize