what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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