Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
