so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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