so explain again why im purple
no
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
