So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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