Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
