Kiss
Puke
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
