In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
