Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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