theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
