I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
