She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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