ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
