ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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