yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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