I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize