im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
